You’re in bed with your partner and you’re getting intimate. Sexual intercourse begins and before you can control it, you’ve finished. You lay there, beside your partner and begin spiralling down the rabbit hole with negative thoughts about what is wrong with you. You’re embarrassed and your anxiety about your performance takes over. Sound familiar?
Many men suffer from what is known as Premature Ejaculation. But, just to be clear, premature ejaculation is not defined by the speed in which you finish, but rather whether you finished when you desired to. Being in control of your ejaculation is a more precise definition of what we, in the medical field, call Premature Ejaculation (PE).
Although many men have been known to finish too quickly, there are a large set of factors that distinguish a one-time occurrence from frequent PE. If you ejaculate sooner than you’d like to during sexual intercourse, and this is happening more often than that one time you got too drunk or went a long time without ejaculating, then it’s probably time to see a doctor to figure out what’s going on.
When it comes to premature ejaculation, there is always the possibility that psychological factors (poor body image, depression, relationship issues, and so on), are working in tandem with the physiological causes (abnormal hormone levels, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, inflammation and infection of the prostate or urethra, and so on). By understanding the full spectrum of the disease, you will be able to begin treating the issue so that sexual intimacy can be improved.
By sitting down with men or couples (depending on the situation), we try to learn where the problem is stemming from. There can be a host of variables that are playing a role in your sexual experiences, by knowing all of the symptoms and how the disease is affecting you (and your relationship), we can better prescribe a course of action that will help you gain control of your ejaculatory function.
We will often recommend sex therapy for patients suffering from premature ejaculation. Counselling is vital for so many reasons, but the main one is whether your premature ejaculation is caused from psychological issues or not, once a man starts to experience PE, anxiety settles in fairly quickly thereafter. Anticipating frustration or shame, or feeling embarrassed about ejaculating prematurely is common and can exacerbate the issue. Talking through the stress of performance can dissipate the anxiety that goes along with it.
In the realm of medication, we typically prescribe anti-depressants (like Paxil, for example) which can help delay ejaculation. We could also explore numbing ointments (such as EMLA cream) in the realm of topical medication. EMLA is rubbed onto the head of the penis approximately 30 minutes prior to sexual activity. There are also a variety of behavioural changes or techniques you could try to help delay ejaculation. These can all be discussed with a counsellor or doctor.
Sexual experiences should not bring on stress, and anticipating ejaculating before desired is no fun for anyone. You can improve your overall sexual wellness by seeking help. It’s that easy. You just need to #HaveTheBallsToTalkAboutIt.