As humans, we have many different needs. We have the survival instinct to stay nourished, we have the social and emotional capacity to forge relationships, we have an urge toward maintaining healthy hygiene, and, we have the compulsion to keep the species alive and thereby reproduce. Disbarring all of the above, we also have the drive to meet our sexual needs. But, try as we might to provide an umbrella definition to what those needs are, the truth always settles somewhere around each individual has their own set of needs. What I’m trying to say is that we all have different needs which are never static and do evolve over time.

What are sexual needs?

What arouses and dampens sexual desire can come from outside factors as much as it can from within. We are all made biologically different (even though we all kind of have the same parts more or less), and so what attracts one might turn another off and vice versa. Learning to tune into your own body and the sensations you feel, will allow you to better understand what stimulates you. Once you can identify what makes you feel good (and not so good), then you can start to construct your own little body map, let’s call it, of what your needs are, where you like to be touched, the frequency of your needs, the duration that feels right, and so on.

Feeding the need

Your needs fluctuate and change over time. Depending on your age, you might feel more feisty more often or you might feel slightly less interested anywhere from sometimes to never. The frequency of your desire might also be dependent on whether or not you are in a relationship, and of course, the state of that relationship. Men and women (and their respective hormones) also play a role in how our libidos ebb and flow. The key takeaway about knowing your needs is taking a minute to reflect on whether your desires and your wantingness to meet them are aligned.

Communication is key

We have a profoundly sexualized culture. What that means is that sex is all around us, it’s in how we dress, it’s on TV and social media, it’s in our language, it’s everywhere. It’s hard to ignore. But, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. What this paves the way for is a more open society, people who are more readily interested in discussing topics that were once considered private or taboo. Being able to talk about your needs and desires with your partner has become a lot more common, comfortable, and almost expected. So get to it!

What else?

When it comes to matters of sex, it’s important to explore what you like and what you dislike. It’s also important to learn what works for you, in both the appeal department as well as the anatomical realm. If you have the desire to engage in sexual intimacy with your partner, but your physiology is stopping you from meeting those needs, don’t fret… we are a phone call away. With treatments for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation to vaginal dryness and laxity, Elna Sexual Wellness has got your covered. Any questions?

Lori.

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