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Menopause and the Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

How do you want to spend those long nights in bed: watching endless Netflix or ruffling the sheets? For a lot of women, the biggest hill to climb when it comes to hitting middle age is menopause. While for some, the word menopause has negative connotations—aging, brittle bones, loss of sexual desire—the truth of matter is that menopause can actually be a good thing, especially when it comes to sex!

As you go through menopause, you’ll notice a few things—hot flashes and night sweats aside—namely, your libido will slowly wean. This is due to decreased hormone levels. The transition will leave you feeling at a loss in your partnership, mainly because your desire to engage in sexual activity is no longer what it used to be. This might cause friction in your relationship because it’ll might make you feel unfulfilled in the intimacy department.

The physical effects of falling estrogen levels undermines sexual motivation for many reasons, but one main, and painful reason, is vaginal dryness. Although the lack of lubrication is not directly related to menopause, the age-related decrease in testosterone can have an impact on a woman’s desire to get physical because the idea of potential pain is what lingers in her future. If it doesn’t feel good, then you’ll obviously opt to abstain.

That’s when a quick O-Shot therapy or diVa Laser Vaginal Renewal treatment is well worth the investment: sex in your post-menopause can be more fun than you imagined! (think: no more worries about getting pregnant, no more kids at home interrupting the fun, and you’re finally primed and know exactly what you like!)

Proper hormone management can set things straight and get you right back into the game. No more menses to make a mess of things… you’re a treatment away from remembering how great sex can be without that painful sensation of chaffing skin rubbing you to a jolting halt. Whether it’s lubricants or a non-invasive procedure, Elna Sexual Wellness can help walk you through your options and open up a whole new world of post-menopausal sex!

Call or email today for more information.

 

Lori.

The Pleasure in Sex

For centuries upon centuries, and even to make it a little less abstract, up until less than 30 years ago, sex education in North America was funnelled down to a talk about reproduction, and safety. By and large, the conversation went something like “these are your body parts, this is how to avoid unwanted pregnancy, and this is so and so STD.” Conversation over. That about brings us up to date on sex talks in schools, in the homes, and in conversation amongst friends. But, one very important aspect of sex talk has been left out and it is finally taking its place centre stage: Pleasure.

How can you and your partner have a better sexual experience?

According to Peggy Orenstein, author of many works discussing the discrepancy between a man and woman’s sexuality, being able to articulate your needs to your partner is one of the fundamental ways to have enjoyable sexual experiences. Pleasure-seeking sex is something that has long been shamed or stigmatized, especially for women whose sexual openness would be labelled as something other than normal. But attitudes are changing and with that, so is the conversation.

Speaking up and letting your partner know what you like and need is becoming more and more common in practice and here is one reason why: learning more about your body and all of its parts allows you to better articulate what feels good and where. Another reason is that people are becoming more candid in their conversations and focusing more on mutual trust, connection, and affection, rather than the prior framework of risks and dangers. Of course there is the fundamental mutual responsibility to practice safe sex, and that is still something that should be largely discussed, but once that conversation has been exhausted, there should be one chapter (if not a few) on sexual intimacy, pleasure, desire, arousal, and enjoyment.

“How do you measure your pleasure?” is one thought-provoking question to get the conversation going. What is good sex? What is bad sex? How do you know that you enjoyed (or are enjoying) a sexual experience? In her TED Talks, Orenstein touches on a slew of questions that seem so basic, but are in fact so far removed from the conversation. It’s important, as a sexually active person, to take the time to think about what you enjoy and what the parameters are that make sex fun and pleasurable for you. Communicating that with your partner is the next step to make sure that you can explore your new findings.

Being able to have an intimate talk with your partner about what you like and what you dislike can help your relationship grow and will hopefully create a space for you to enjoy your relationship even more. Sarah McLelland, psychologist, researcher and professor, explains that there is such a thing called “intimate justice” and it’s about who is entitled to engage in enjoyable sex… the short answer? You are.

Want to learn more about sexual wellness or just need someone to talk to about your sexual health? We are a phone call (or email) away and we are always ready to talk.

 

Dr. Steinberg

Where’s your Mojo

There is no magical equation on how to derive at what is too high a sex drive and what is too low a sex drive. When it comes to understanding your sexual desire, it’s all about the subjective experience. Knowing what feels “normal” for you and feeling out your own personal fluctuations. If you’re in a relationship, you might use your partner’s libido as a barometer to measure the highs and lows you feel, or you might be in touch with your peaks synching up with certain times of the month, for example. Either way, it’s important to keep in mind that both women and men can experience fluctuations in sexual desire; some of that can be attributed to biological factors like hormone shifts, while some of those rises and falls can coincide with emotional or psychological changes in your life.

Let’s think about what a libido is and where it is located.

Historically speaking, the libido used to be exclusively associated with the sex drive. While this is partially true in today’s world, there are now many other factors that come into play when trying to locate the libido. In terms of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud defined the libido as the energy created by the survival and sexual instincts. Not located in one particular area (although it is most likely located in the brain, as Freud believed it was part of the unconscious), the libido is the driving force of all sexual behavior. The libido is the source of our wants and urges, as well as the epicentre of all pleasure-seeking impulses.

Departing from our psychoanalytic father, the libido has taken on new meaning as more well-rounded research has been done in the past century. We now understand the sex drive to have more than just conscious and unconscious motivations and desires. One’s interest in sex is a combination of factors from, as mentioned earlier, biological, psychological, physiological, emotional, and social. Not to mention that other factors can play a role: illness, medication, say nutrition, and other lifestyle habits. Everything affects everything and back around again.

 

Symptoms of low sex drive aren’t as straightforward as you may think. No interest in any type of sexual activity is one major symptom, however it is not the only symptom as a low libido extends to sexual fantasies and thoughts as well. Having too high a sex drive can also be an issue for some, especially if it is getting in the way of your work, ability to focus, or daily activity, or, if you are in a relationship and your partner’s sex drive does not match your own.

Think about your libido. Have questions? Want to talk it out? Call or email Elna Sexual Wellness and let’s get the conversation going.

Dr. Steinberg

Intercourse Shouldn’t be Painful

Although the typical female response to sexual arousal is for the vagina to produce a liquid that moistens the area, it should not be taken for granted that our bodies always do what we want them to do. When sufficient lubrication is not produced, often times, in an intimate situation, despite her state of arousal, a woman will suffer from painful intercourse (also known as dyspareunia) due to insufficient lubrication. Dyspareunia is defined as painful sexual intercourse persistent or recurrent genital pain before, during, or after intercourse.

There are a few reasons why a woman might suffer from dyspareunia. Physiologically speaking, the body naturally lubricates the vaginal area. However, decrease in estrogen, the reproductive hormone, often leads to the decrease in lubrication of the vagina. As estrogen dwindles, as it does with childbirth, breastfeeding, menopause or due to certain medical conditions/treatments, the vagina feels the effects. Dryness, laxity, and other symptoms can result in pain during or after penetration, as well as a burning, throbbing, and an itching sensation.Pleasurable sex is not a natural law that comes with the territory. Many women have to work hard for it. In fact, over 40% of women have reported that they suffer from (or have suffered from) painful intercourse. That’s 40% too many! Pain during sex is not, and should not be just par for the course. There are treatments out there to help women, physically and psychologically overcome the pain and distress that sexual intercourse is causing. Some of the options out there include: diVa Laser Treatment, the O-Shot, pelvic floor therapy, and counselling. Most often, the recommendation pairs two (or more) therapies together for optimal results.

Because the cause of dyspareunia is varied and the degree of pain falls on a spectrum (some women feel pain from inserting a tampon, while others can begin to have sexual intercourse only to run dry within a few minutes), the treatments we offer are best prescribed case-by-case.

Let’s look at diVa laser therapy and consider some of the benefits:

  • Increased lubrication and sensation during intercourse
  • Tightened vaginal canal
  • Enhances ability to reach orgasm
  • Improved control over urinary incontinence
  • Significant improvement in confidence and quality of life

Does sexual intercourse hurt? Do you feel like your body is failing you? Is it taking a toll on your overall emotional and sexual health? If you answered yes to any one of these questions, it’s time to pick up the phone or start typing that email. Yes, talking about sex can be difficult, but leave it to us professionals to make sure you feel comfortable so we can sort out whatever issue you may have… contact us and you’ll be one step closer to a healthier (and more pleasurable) sex life!

Lori.

What’s the O-Shot All About?

It’s been around for a while, but more and more women are finally catching on to the major benefits of, drumroll please… the O-Shot. Ground-breaking in its field, the O-Shot provides everything from easier arousal and increased lubrication to much needed relief from urinary incontinence.

It was only a matter of time until science and technology caught up to the sexual revolution. It took a few decades, but the O-Shot is here to stay. Taking a look at a woman’s relationship with sex, the O-Shot responds to many of the common problems women face and seeks to restore sexual function so women can enjoy sexual activity (pain-free!).

 

How does it work?

The O-Shot, also called the “orgasm shot,” delivers regeneration cells that immediately revitalize muscle, tissue and nerves. To alleviate female sexual dysfunction (and increase bladder control), the O-Shot begins with a simple blood extraction consisting of PRP (platelet-rich plasma), which is then injected back into the vaginal area, to increase blood flow, reawaken or stimulate sexual function. A natural solution and highly effective treatment, the O-Shot has multiple benefits, including:

  • Increased sexual desire
  • Improved or resolved urinary incontinence
  • Increased vaginal sensitivity and pleasure
  • Increased natural lubrication
  • Decreased pain during intercourse
  • Increased ability to have a vaginal orgasm

There are a number of ways to treat weakened muscles (like the ones that support the bladder), for example, Kegel exercises (pelvic floor physical therapy), bladder training, and surgery. But another simple, and non-invasive technique used widely is the O-Shot.

If you suffer from urinary incontinence or are experiencing any form of sexual discomfort or dysfunction, consider discussing your options with Elna Sexual Wellness. At the very least, you’ll learn something new!

 

Lori